It’s been 3 months already and I haven’t written anything in this year. I was not feeling to write anything. This year has been calm and peaceful; and I have been sober. But, I know this time will pass too. I guess something is going to happen; I don’t know if it would be good or bad for me. Things are yet to happen. Nothing has changed from the last year except the dates.
I will be going to Sasaram, Bihar in next month. I should let you know that my family has shifted to Bihar, permanently. Our new home is being constructed there. I am excited to see the new home and comparatively new place.
Conversely, I am nervous too. I guess I don’t need to explain why I am nervous. Actually, I am scared.
I am scared of many things—scared of telling truth, scared of losing someone, scared of hurting someone, scared of breaking hopes. I don’t know what to do. I had decided, let things happen, but now I am nervous. I had made my thoughts that whatever happens, happens for a reason; so chill.
I tried to get something but I failed. I tried with full effort and desire yet I couldn’t get it. What does it mean? Is it not in my fate? I thought the same. Thus, a strong thought of “whatever happens, happens for a reason” made a place in my find. I won’t cry; I won’t try hard again for the same thing. I won’t bear the pain of losing again and failing again.
However, my days in Bangalore are passing beautifully. I am happy. I fear this happiness will fade away. I need to do something. But the negativity prevailing in my mind asks—do I need to do something? Is the other person also willing to do so? Will that person put some effort too? I am clueless. Does it worth? Should I care anymore? So many questions…
I feel everything will be fine; though, I haven’t decided to do anything yet. Let see what happens.